Mental Prep

We would be remiss to talk about how we're prepping for the move without mentioning how it's affecting us internally. I thought planning a 200+ person wedding on an extremely tight budget in 9 months was stressful, but that was a walk in the park compared to this. Mainly because a wedding is something that you have a general idea of what to expect...but how do you know what to expect living thousands of miles away from your family and friends, in a community and culture that is very different from what you're used to? To say it's mentally draining would be an understatement.


Between the packing, shopping/stocking up, maintaining some sort of productivity at a full-time job, seeing friends and family as much as possible, keeping up with regular chores around the house, attempting to be proactive at handling the administrative things that will need to change (ie. licenses, insurances, etc.), booking doctor, dentist, eye doctor appointments and so on and so forth - oh, and nurturing a very new relationship as husband and wife...it's no wonder we crash into bed at 10pm (or try to) every night.

We've been torn/conflicted over the realization that each day that passes in Ontario brings us another day closer to Nunavut. It is a terrifying, exciting, stressful and anxiety-inducing realization to have to wrap our brains around. When I first got the offer, I was originally supposed to start at the end of June. Now that we are nearing the end of June and I feel nowhere near ready to go, I'm beyond grateful for the few extra weeks we have here. We are looking to have the movers come next week and take an estimate of all of our stuff to see how much is being moved/going to storage, and the thought gives me heart palpitations. We've talked about going room to room in the house and sorting things into Go/No Go piles - but we just haven't had the time. Actually, that's just an excuse. I know that I can make time if I really wanted to, but it just makes it seem too *real* if I start sorting and packing. (Yes, I know it's really happening and yes, I know that it needs to be done..but I just can't get my brain to process it.)

There's also the anxiety I mentioned in a previous post about trying to figure out how much stuff to bring up for our stockpile of pantry items and household goods...not to mention the stress that task has been having on our bank accounts. These days, you'll often find me in stores with my calculator whipped out, trying to figure out how much we'd save if we ate canned peas instead of corn, and how many servings of mashed potatoes we're going to need for 2 years, etc. The financial strain is weighing us both down because although we understand that it will save us a lot of money in the long run, the immediate impact to our money is painful.

The stress is beginning to really wear on us though, and we have to try extra hard to work around it. It's hard though, knowing that we're leaving behind our lives and everything we're comfortable with for something completely new. Yes, we are of course still excited about the adventure and the experience we're about to embark on - but it's quite the system shock all at once. As I've mentioned before, it's a tough enough move on its own but I'm comforted knowing we're going together. I can't imagine how much more of a basket-case I'd be if we didn't have each other.

-L