It really hit me hard yesterday how far away from home we are. It wasn't anything in particular; it actually came about when I started thinking about what everyone at home was doing at that moment in time. The more I thought about it, the more anxious I got. It was the first time since we got here that it hit me that we're really, really far away from our loved ones.
I started to feel trapped. Isolated. Helpless. Poor Jeff came down the stairs and I was just sitting at the dining table, looking across the lake and realizing that we're "stuck" here. I missed my family. I missed my friends. I missed that at that point in time, if we were in Ontario, I wouldn't be sitting in despair at my dining table.
It's been incredibly helpful that our neighbours are turning into friends. We look forward to our weekly get-togethers and it's good to talk to them about how we're all experiencing this at the same time. It's good to start building a support system so you know you're not the only ones dealing with these things.
We've been here for almost a month. Some days it feels like we can do this no problem, because time is moving by pretty quickly and it hasn't been that big of a lifestyle change for us. Other times, it feels as though we're on the other side of the world and I want nothing more than to be home in Ontario. I'm not going to lie and say that it's been a piece of cake, or that we don't miss home. But I will say that I think it's ok that we do miss home. I think it's perfectly natural and human to have good days and hard days, as long as you acknowledge how you feel and don't suppress it. No one expects you to make such a huge change and not be affected by it. Lean on each other for support.
Own your feelings.